About being direct about your feelings

"I am very verbal. Or verbose? I am direct. And very direct.I know what I feel. And I am never shy to share what I feel. But sometimes, it is also difficult to spot a feeling. The human mind is complex. 

One Portuguese word I love, which is how I connect with Portugal itself. Saudade." 

https://kkpradeeban.blogspot.com/2024/08/desire-for-change-vs-pattern.html?m=1

I read this blog by my Twitter friend @pradeeban who lives in Alaska and I was inspired to restart writing.

I am sharing here some brief monologues of mine that came out on a Twitter thread.

What I like about Pradeeban's writing is that he is so direct about his feelings. This is so important to connect with others & coming from an Asian country this is really exceptional.

I admire that because it took me years to become so direct. I used to be an extremely polite person. I used to internalise my feelings hoping somehow things would get solved. I think it was almost at the age of 40 years that I decided I would never be a hypocrite.

This happened in Africa. One day I woke up & thought I cannot be polite & keep a friendly smile if I don't like something. I was nearly 40 years old & I didn't want to be telling white lies as a middle aged lady just to appease the society. 

I was also influenced by Aniko.

Aniko is this Hungarian teacher, feminist & mentor whom I met in my life in Namibia. She was the spouse of a Head of a UN agency.

She taught me everything about fund raising, organising events & so many things that I didn't know about life.

As a child growing up in Sri Lanka, I read once this ancient word 'Guru Mushti'. It is also referred to as 'Acharya Mushti' in Sanskrit. Recently I was explaining this to a European friend. This was an expression applied to Gurus (teachers) who withhold the teaching.

Sometimes the best student could marry the daughter of the Guru as well. :-)

"Guru mushti" was this little something that the teacher kept so that he would be still better than the student.The teachers who gave away all that are considered noble.Aniko gave away her Guru Mushti.

Her Guru Mushti that she gave me was the ability to be true to myself in a way that I can be always honest with myself & others. It was a massive relief to discover this ability and it came so naturally to me seeing another sister do that. I think it's almost like being Greta Thunberg or being an Aspie. I want to be honest in a way that I don't have to find other ways to communicate something as we are conditioned to do in many cultures. 

So my next blog inspired by Pradeeban is probably going to be about "Guru Mushti".

#Blogging #GuruMushti #Feelings